It is almost August, where did the time go?
I am sitting here contemplating the universe and all of its unique qualities and wondering how I fit into this vast world.
In my 26 years, what have I done worthwhile? What makes my life special, or any different than anyone else out there? Have I found a cure for cancer, marched for aids, or been awarded any great achievement awards? No. Once in a while you have to sit back and reevaluate your life.
You have to bring things into perspective and find out what really matters. What have I come up with? Not much, actually. My life, while meaningful to some, has not really been all that spectacular. Would there be people who would miss me if I wasn't around, yes, undoubtedly. But, really it is hard to find meaning in the everyday dregs of things when you look at the big picture.
Sometimes there are places in my heart that ache for something new. Sometimes I wonder what is out there that I haven't seen. Sometimes I can't imagine being the same old me every single day. What does that say about me? Does it make me more human, or just more selfish. Does the unexperienced adventure seem enticing because it has never been ventured or is it really something to see. These are the questions I am asking myself today. I write here sometimes because I really don't think anyone reads it, and it almost feels like a way to expel my soul into the vast nothingness of cyberspace without having to answer any questions about why I am feeling the way I am. The simple and honest answer to that question would be I really don't know.
It seems so simple to most people. You are born, have your childhood (good or bad), get through school, get married, have children, and eventually the circle starts over. Sometimes I just wonder what happened to the in between parts where you experience that new and exciting endeavor.
I know I am being entirely philosophical today, or maybe I am just going crazy. Who knows?
Poetic Ramblings:
The day dawns over a cloudy sky
My mind seems to drift as it passes by
Inside the hole I had hoped to fill
Has begun to tear at my will
My will that has always been so strong
Never before has it led me so wrong
The pain and the hurt I hid deep down inside
Long to be free from the place they ran to hide
For now they hide again and wait for the day I mend
The cracks and the tears that you can't see are mine alone once again.
I am sitting here contemplating the universe and all of its unique qualities and wondering how I fit into this vast world.
In my 26 years, what have I done worthwhile? What makes my life special, or any different than anyone else out there? Have I found a cure for cancer, marched for aids, or been awarded any great achievement awards? No. Once in a while you have to sit back and reevaluate your life.
You have to bring things into perspective and find out what really matters. What have I come up with? Not much, actually. My life, while meaningful to some, has not really been all that spectacular. Would there be people who would miss me if I wasn't around, yes, undoubtedly. But, really it is hard to find meaning in the everyday dregs of things when you look at the big picture.
Sometimes there are places in my heart that ache for something new. Sometimes I wonder what is out there that I haven't seen. Sometimes I can't imagine being the same old me every single day. What does that say about me? Does it make me more human, or just more selfish. Does the unexperienced adventure seem enticing because it has never been ventured or is it really something to see. These are the questions I am asking myself today. I write here sometimes because I really don't think anyone reads it, and it almost feels like a way to expel my soul into the vast nothingness of cyberspace without having to answer any questions about why I am feeling the way I am. The simple and honest answer to that question would be I really don't know.
It seems so simple to most people. You are born, have your childhood (good or bad), get through school, get married, have children, and eventually the circle starts over. Sometimes I just wonder what happened to the in between parts where you experience that new and exciting endeavor.
I know I am being entirely philosophical today, or maybe I am just going crazy. Who knows?
Poetic Ramblings:
The day dawns over a cloudy sky
My mind seems to drift as it passes by
Inside the hole I had hoped to fill
Has begun to tear at my will
My will that has always been so strong
Never before has it led me so wrong
The pain and the hurt I hid deep down inside
Long to be free from the place they ran to hide
For now they hide again and wait for the day I mend
The cracks and the tears that you can't see are mine alone once again.
posted by Shannon at 11:42 AM
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